Ronnie Wood’s Son Gets Beaten With Baseball Bats And We’re Supposed To Care
Ronnie Wood – a man who looks like all four faces of Mount Rushmore packed into one particularly perished melon – is of course, rock royalty. This means that, away from him mugging on-stage with The Rolling Stones, we’re supposed to care about the other aspects of his life.
So has something bad happened to Ron Wood? Well, apart from that whole midlife crisis and running off with a woman 300 years younger than him, not really.
See, his youngest son, Tyrone, has been beaten up really badly with a baseball bat while on holiday in Greece. But we’ve never heard of him before, so we can just treat it like any no-mark who has had their arse handed to them, right?
This isn’t even celebrity gossip or news. This is chat about someone related to a celebrity. Celebrity By Proxy Gossip. Doesn’t have the same ring to it does it?
Either way, because there is so little news in the world that isn’t related to the fall of the News Of The World, we have to relay this pointless fluff about some bloke’s son getting a whole barrow of whoop-ass tipped onto him.
Apparently, this attack on Ron’s son, whose name we’ve already forgotten, was so thorough, that he’s ended up with a broken arm and concussion.
The attacker must’ve been one particularly competitive Beatles fan, eh?
A source says:
“Tyrone has taken a terrible beating. He was attacked with a baseball bat. He’s OK but really shaken up by the whole incident.”
He’s okay? Jesus Christ. This is the most pointless story ever written in hecklerspray’s history. Next, we’ll be writing about Snoop Dogg having a quiet night in.
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