Readers’ Letters: “wheres the weiner!!!!!”
The postbag, once more, is overflowing… much in the same way a backed up latrine spills over with liquid faeces. And boy, you lot have been eating some amazingly dodgy things lately. It could run through the holes in a lace curtain.
Anyway, disgusting metaphors aside, it is indeed time to peer into the horrors of the bedsit postbag and share them with the world.
One piece of correspondence this week was sent on a piece of previously self-harmed flesh like a dismembered arm as seen on Richie from the Manic Street Preachers. It was there, all dried out like chamois leather with the words “I WUV U” hacked out of it. In fact, it may have just been a chamois leather now we think about it.
Once again, those scampish kids that we know collectively as ‘Beliebers’, were getting in touch just to tell us how wrong, nasty and idiotic we are. When we discussed his potential break-up with Selena Gomez, we were flooded with bad words.
Wtf?
Jasmine Villegas has a boyfriend. And it’s NOT Justin. These low lives will come up with anything to ruin a famous person’s image. That’s so sad. There is no proof that they’re over! Even if there was, its their business not the whole fucking worlds. Immature fucks.
We just got called ‘immature’ by a young person who follows a popstar who doesn’t even have a fully developed patella. Amazing. They weren’t the only ones.
JUSTIN IS NOT A “SUPERBRAT”! ALL WHO THINK IT IS COOL TO WRITE LIES ABOUT HIM NEED TO GO TO HELL!!! JUSTIN IS STILL A TRUE PERSON AND YOU FUCKEN PRESS ARE TURNING ON JUSTIN AND MAKING HIM LOOK BAD BECAUSE YOU HAVE NOTHING ELSE BETTER TO DO IN YOUR SHITTY LIVES! JUSTIN DOESNT NEED YOU ASSHOLES…..!!!!
One fan went further by saying that we may have been telling the truth, but derided us for a lack of proof.
WHAT THE HELL! I have read all of the articles about this and it only refers to one source!!!! There is no proof!!!! I am sick and tired of the media making up false accusations to make a top story!!! Unless you have your proof DONT WRITE OR SAY ANYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!! I am A Justin Bieber fan and Selena is great aswell! Im not saying it isnt true but there is absolutely NO PROOF!!!!!!!! Get off There backs and let them be and you know what they didn’t even confirm their relationship in the first place!!!!!
Amazing. Alas, not nearly as amazing as the grief offered to our Michael Park, who poked fun at Nicole Thingummy from The Pussycat Dolls.
You grabastic piece of amphibian shit, do you not have anything better to do than sit your fat, ugly, doughnut eating ass at a computer and talk shit about people? What the fuck is wrong with you anyway fagget? Is your fat ugly girlfriend or wife not giving you enough of her rotten, pungent snatch recently you fucking queer ball? You’re probably the type of queer that would fuck another fagget in the ass, and not have the god damn common courtesy to give them a reach around. Who the fuck are you to rip on Nicole? You’re just mad that a woman like that wouldn’t even fucking look at your disgusting ass, let alone give you the time of fucking day you piece of shit. Why don’t you talk shit to me, to my face you son of a bitch? I bet you wouldn’t, and you know why? You’re nothing but a god damn coward who hides behind a computer screen and is a negative little asshole. Fuck you and your shity ass website. Lord I pray that you get testicular cancer that spreads to your pea brain, and you die a horrible, slow, painful death. Like I said fagget, I aint hard to find, so next time you feel like talking shit, why don’t you be a man and do it to my face? You fucking dirty little cunt, dont ever let me catch you write anything about Nicole again… You better start shitting me Tiffany fucking cufflinks real soon fagget, before you really piss me off.
Drink that comment in. Absolutely astonishing levels of anger which, of course, has seen us considering actually hiring them to rant and rave at the sky. Park got more stick for having the nerve to point out that Robert Pattinson is so boring that even diseases reject him. Jesus Christ Our Lord got in touch (that’s what they signed-off as anyway)
I know this site has got pretty bad recently, but this takes the piss. If you’re going to do a spoof article, might I suggest you at least give making it funny a go? This reads like the ramblings of year 9 div kid.
Terrible, just terrible.
This saw ‘spray regular Cookie Monster chiding our Lord.
Somehow, I thought you’d be more forgiving, but it seems that you’re just another holier-than-thou, messianic prick.
Alas, Cookie Monster went on to praise Michael’s ability to turn “water into wine” and then spoiled it all by talking about Editor Mof getting his balls licked. Bad man. Elsewhere, someone decided to spew something at us about Top Gear’s The Stig.
the poor guy! no one of you idiots really know what was going on within bbc,now you come here with your bullshit about the stig was nothing and that top gear was nothing without the stig? luckily there is a whole world full of people like me that thinks you all are idiots. by the way.whighter of this article, you are an aqsshole through and through! trying to sound like clarkson! idiot
Quite. Still, that doesn’t match the fervour of one reader who contacted us just to say
How much i would like to watch rihanna’s naked photo’s&video’s.because she is always wear’ng tight pants and small shorts so please if anyone got those pic’s please send to [EMAIL REMOVED BECAUSE WE DON'T TRUST YOU SHITS]
That’s nice isn’t it? Not as nice as the music of 50 Cent though. One reader simply wanted to tell us
i like him very much . his songs r unconcious me
Unrelated, one reader just yelled at us in the inbox, saying
What the f***!!! wheres the weiner!!!!!
But our final word goes to one cryptic reader, who apropos of absolutely nothing, sent us this confused sounding piece of wisdom, which read like a depressed fortune cookie.
sober do not understand, even drunk, do not see something abnormal and scary and it should be called “Vanity”
‘Til next time.
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