Justin Bieber Hates Selena Gomez And Won’t Be Going To Her Birthday Party
A girl’s 19th birthday is the most important day of her life isn’t it? It’s the day womenfolk shed that pesky third nipple, lose that feathery down and finally are allowed to start buying adult shoes.
It’s a momentous day.
And so, with it being a day of such huge importance, all friends and family drop everything to join the celebration of flowering womanhood. Unless you’re Selena Gomez. See, Selena is stepping out with the ghoulish infant, Justin Bieber, who simply can’t be bothered to go to this massive, massive occasion.
Gomez turns 19 this Friday (July 22nd, should you want to set a reminder up on your phone so you can send e-cards or death threats) and Bieber won’t be there. HE WON’T BE THERE.
Gomez says of the festivities:
“I think my mom has planned something for me. I didn’t really ask for anything, so I’m basically just going to be at tour rehearsal during the day. Maybe go to dinner at night with my family. Pretty boring.”
Then, choking on grief tears, answering the question about Bieber’s appearance…
“I actually think he’ll be in Atlanta. But that’s OK. We all gotta work.”
How brave. How very, very brave.
Gomez has a lot to live up to if she’s going to top her 18th bash. Last year, she celebrated with a barbecue which apparently had ‘meats’ and ‘cheese potatoes.’
Oh, how the other half live!