Justin Bieber And Selena Gomez Are Splitting Up So Commence The Death Threats

It is clear to anyone with eyes and a vague interest in the downfall of Justin Bieber, that he’s slowly turning into a superbrat, not to be trusted as far as he could be flung. He’s flipped the bird at paps and been icily cold in interviews.

And now, it looks like he’s breaking the heart of Selena Gomez, despite the fact his fans are all shouting ‘HE’S NOT LIKE THAT! JUSTIN WOULD NEVER DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT BECAUSE I KNOW HIM! AND I FEEL LIKE HE REALLY KNOWS ME TOO!’

Well Beliebers, looks like you didn’t know him at all because he’s been sending mucky text messages to another girl behind Selena’s back. The dirty rotten swine! Will he even autotune “you’re dumped, love” as well?

So, what are these text messages all about then?

Well, apparently, reports are suggesting that Justin was still really into the idea of feeling the bra-strap of his ‘Baby’ music video co-star Jasmine Villegas, despite the fact he’s already got a girlfriend called Selena Gomez.

Reports say:

“Selena was heartbroken. She confronted Justin, and at first he denied it but then came clean. She told him their romance was over, but she was willing to stay friends.”

That said, the more brilliant and spurious rumour is that Selena wants to try the whole ‘Hell Hath No Fury Like A Woman Scorned Thing’, and is planning on a revenge mission by cheating on his with Glee star Cory Monteith!

Either way, the Beliebers can’t hear us because they’re all far too busy penning death threats in their own sickeningly untainted blood, scratching out warnings of physical violence against Gomez with their Bieber nail polished infant fingers into the walls of the world.

Fantastic.


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