Awesome or Off-Putting: Human-Eating Elephant Eats At Least One Human
Awesome or Off-Putting is a weekly delve into cryptozoology, ufology, aliens, medical marvels, scientific wonders, secret societies, government conspiracies, cults, ghosts, EVPs, ancient artifacts, strange facts, odd sightings or just the plain unexplainable.
When traveling through India, there are a few things we think we’d be afraid of. Tripping over the headset wires we’re pretty sure the locals all drag behind them being the chiefest. After that we’d be afraid of tigers that hunt during peak hours in various town squares. Fear 3 would be never being to escape the smell of curry.
One thing we never thought we’d have to worry about is being eaten by an elephant. But apparently – that’s something to throw on the sleepless-night pile.
When most of the world thinks of elephants, they think of killing them and turning them into the noise-making parts of an electric keyboard. And rightly so – if you strangled one with tusks big enough, your descendants could have college covered for generations to come. What’s nice about it is it would be so easy. After all – elephants are herbivores. Once you’ve set your sites on one, it’s fate has been determined and there’s nothing it can do about it. Unless it’s wearing those Lord of the Rings-style barbed wire leggings.
If your mark is wearing those, you should probably just let it be. And if it’s a carnivorous, man-eating elephant you should definitely let it be.
But they don’t make those – elephants that crave human sandwiches don’t exist, right?
Wrong – according to the Huffington Post:
“After a rogue elephant killed 17 people in India, locals knew it had to be stopped. Once the animal was killed, DNA tests on the contents of its stomach revealed something even more terrifying: the elephant had consumed human flesh.
“According to zoologist Dave Salmoni, humans are to blame for the herbivore’s shocking behavior. In [a] clip from his new TV show, he claims this particular man-eating elephant lashed out in an act of revenge after her calf was killed.”
Well let that be a lesson to us all. Leave baby elephants alone even though there heads would obviously make terrific shower heads with the right pipes running through them.
The worst case scenario would be if the flesh-bellied elephant was crossed with this one. The good news is that elephant would probably be extra executable. The bad news is that leading up to the hanging, there would be a bloody rampage at least a million people long.
But, you know, from all we’ve heard India has a million people to spare anyway.
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